fatalist_beauty

waves...

2006-08-24T16:27:20Z

i stood on the sand and walked toward the ocean. i stopped so the water was just hitting my knees.. i realized something.

life is a lot like standing there that day. people and things are constantly trying to knock me down, pull me under, control me. it happens to everyone. its the average pressures of life.one after another. peer pressure being one of them.

just like those waves trying to knock me down. one after another. some rougher than others but still always trying to get me down and control me.

i stand strong because i know there are more to come after that.

people are constantly trying to bring you down. control you. like those waves. get you to smoke, do drugs, drink, have sex, things no one really wants to do. but do it to fit in. and to be accepted. i will admit i have given in to some things. but thats because i wanted to. but when people try to tell me that they cant "beat" peer pressure... its a lie. anyone doesnt have to do what they dont want to. i spend my whole summer last year around smokers. i never got to me, i knew i didnt want to smoke, so i didnt. just beacuse you are around it doesnt mean you just HAVE TO do it. im not trying to lecture you or anything...just realize what you want to do and dont use "peer pressure" as an excuse for your actions.. you choose what you want to do with your life. make the best of it. dont give in. for your own good.

thanks for reading, ( hope you understood my ways) lol

heather...

.....

2006-05-25T13:20:54Z

"this ride is drifting slowely to the side
we're swerving off the road
going past the cones that warnED us from the start"

"Hey! Wait! Knock me down, and I'll get up again.
Oh! Pain! A remedy that can erase your sting.
Ill keep holding, and Ill keep trying,
I feel this fight, it is slowly dying now but i feel painless."

"These days and nights blend into one,
but one more night is all I need.
Another chord from the symphony.
To float above the world for now,
to lose control is bliss somehow.
And wring the color from the grey,
another chance to get away, oh."

"Sense of commitment. A sense of pride.
I heard you say that we shared a destiny.
Now it's plain to see you've got no sense at all.
The name that once honored, you disgraced and made a mockery.
I could always see the smoke from miles away.
I could always see the weakness in your eyes.
Far away I feel the lies. While the sky is burning.
I will always be unwanted."

"What is it like to choke on every word you said.
What is it like to shit on everything you had?"

love quotes (kinda boring...)

2006-05-02T13:20:15Z

Alfred Tennyson:
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

Amy Bloom:
Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.

Anais Nin:
Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh:
Him that I love, I wish to be free -- even from me.

fatalist:
For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

H. L. Mencken:
To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia -- to mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god or an ordinary young woman for a goddess.

Hazrat Inayat Khan:
The sage said, "The best thing is not to hate anyone, only to love. That is the only way out of it. As soon as you have forgiven those whom you hate, you have gotten rid of them. Then you have no reason to hate them; you just forget.

Henri Nouwen:
Your body needs to be held and to hold, to be touched and to touch. None of these needs is to be despised, denied, or repressed. But you have to keep searching for your body's deeper need, the need for genuine love. Every time you are able to go beyond the body's superficial desires for love, you are bringing your body home and moving toward integration and unity.

Hobbes (of Calvin and ...):
I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each others dreams, we can be together all the time.

myspace thingy

2006-04-26T22:50:24Z

1. Do you still talk with the first person you kissed:
no.

2. Have you ever seen your best friend naked:
not all at once..?

3. What did you do when you weren't in school in the 2nd grade.
rode my bike. it was really cool.

4. What is the best thing about your job:
dont have one..

5. Do you like more than one person right now:
nope.

6. Are you against same sex marriage:
sometimes.

7. Did you vote for Bush:
don't vote.

8. Where are you going on your next vacation:
north carolina bitch

9. Have you had sex with any of your top 8:
yes...michelle!!! hahaha...nope

10. Are most of your friends guys or girls:
girls.

11. Do you own any furniture from Ikea:
no? wtf?

12. Last book you read:
Possessed...yea weird...but its an awesome story like the excorcist but its with a boy

13. If you could have one super power what would it be:
be invisible.

14. Where have you lived most of your life:
paterson...pequannock

16. Where do you see yourself in 5 years:
college. ill be 21 so who knows what could happen.

17. What's your favorite smell:
guys axe...it really turns me on like... a lot...

18. What is your favorite sound:
a fucking amazing car going really fast

19. Are you moody:
sure.

20. Favorite movies of all time:
the breakfast club.

21. Have you ever done anything hurtful to your classmate:
yea.

22. Have you ever gone to therapy:
nope.

23. Have you ever Played Spin the bottle:
nope :(

24. Have you ever toilet papered someones house:
yess. many..

25. Have you ever liked someone but never told them:
yes

26. Have you ever gone camping:
yess

27. Have you ever had a crush on your brother's friend:
i dont have a brother but i had a cousin that lived with us and he had hott friends!

28. Have you ever gone to a nude beach:
no?

29. Have you ever gone streaking:
no

30. Have you ever had a stalker:
yes!

31. Gone skinny dipping:
yea...the best way to dip

32. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried:
everry time.

33. Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only sober person:
nope

35. Have you ever felt betrayed by your best friend:
YeS

36. Have you ever lied to your parents:
yea

37. Have you ever been out of the US:
yupp

38. Have you ever thrown up from working out:
no

39. Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore hat for a month straight:
noo

40. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in one day:
yess. gross i know

41. Last song you listened to:
brackish- KITTIE

42. Have you ever spied on someone:
probably.

43. Have you ever slept with one of your coworkers:
yes michelle. haha

44. What is your favorite work of art:
my cousins painting...(artist)

45. Who was the last person who called you:
beans

46. When was the last time you slept for more then 12 hours:
dont remember

47. Have you ever been arrested:
kinda...it was 4 in the morning and i had ran away from home (recently) and the dimbass that i am went to woodland lake and layed on the bench like a bum..haha...and a cop pulls up...the bitch called my parents and brought me home..

48. Have you ever stolen anything:
Yup

49. Have you ever drank egg nog:
nope

50. If you could be anywhere right now where would it be:
with someone.

save me.

2006-04-25T22:32:29Z

They said we made a perfect pair

I clothed myself in your glory and your love

How I loved you,

How I cried.....

The years of care and loyalty

Were nothing but a sham it seems

The years belie we lived a lie

"I'll love you 'til I die"

Save me Save me Save me

I can't face this life alone

Save me Save me Oh...

I'm naked and I'm far from home

The slate will soon be clean

I'll erase the memories,

To start again with somebody new

Was it all wasted

All that love?.....

I hang my head and I advertise

A soul for sale or rent

I have no heart, I'm cold inside

I have no real intent

Save me Save me Save me

I can't face this life alone

Save me Save me Oh...

I'm naked and I'm far from home

Each night I cry, I still believe the lie

I'll love you 'til I die

MORE LYRICS...

2006-04-25T22:21:20Z

NO INNOCENT VICTIM

Tear Us Apart

I will not
I will not deny the truth
I will not
I will not be chained
I will not
I will not deny the truth
I will not
Watch my soul decay
The truth that lies within me
You may choose to attack
But there is nothing you'd say or do
To make me ever go back
If I walked in my own strength
Maybe then you'd defeat my heart
But my life is in His hands now
Nothing can tear us apart
Tear us apart
Nothin can tear us
Tear us apart

more random lyrics...

2006-04-25T20:38:08Z

WITH HONOR

The Mirror

I've let tomorrow be a good excuse for
not changing today
looking over our lists of to-do's routines have gotten in the way
day in, day out it becomes the same
I'm tired of standing for nothing and sleepwalking our time away

leaving our questions unanswered
or never asking at all

could we be something more
than we are right now?
eyes closed, shut tight,
apathy has us by the throat,
loosen the ropes and let our dreams take flight!

so often we let our dreams fall away but not this time... let's go

I feel like I've never wanted something so bad as this
stand up and be something more!

we'll make a change STAND UP
no time to waste RIGHT NOW.

random lyrics

2006-04-25T20:19:00Z

Scars Of Tomorrow

To Watch You Burn

You left me here
Alone in my own world
From pain
A new light is born
Your perfect world's
Evading
Sedating
Your perfect world's
Evading
Sedating
I hate your face
Reminding
Despiting
I hate your life
You cast me down
You look at me with one glance
And turn your face
To watch you burn
You bury me alive

In your perfect world
I'd rather make peace with 3 rounds

But I'll watch you burn
Your perfect world's
Evading
Sedating
I hate your life
You cast me down
Burn
You bury me
Watch you burn